


Together (is a Wonderful Place to Be)

by WrittenOnRoses



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Car Accidents, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Single Parents, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-20 23:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30012669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenOnRoses/pseuds/WrittenOnRoses
Summary: In 2010, Taeyong, Jeno, Taeil, and Yuta lose their parents in a car accident. In 2020, they are finally ready to deal with it.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. 5 Minutes and Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 takes place in 2010, while chapter 2 and 3 forward to 2020. This story will be a long one, so let me thank you now if you decide to check it out. Questions / concerns / and feedback in the comments are welcomed. Enjoy.
> 
> P.S. this fic takes place in Chicago, IL, USA, but I kept several honorifics (hyung, noona) between the characters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In 2010, Taeil, Yuta, Taeyong, and Jeno lose both their parents in a car crash, leaving their future as a family undetermined.

#### December 20, 2010

“Kids! If you are coming with us, please hurry and get ready. The car is leaving in 5 minutes with or without you! Make sure to grab gloves and put on a coat. It is freezing outside.” Mrs. Lee shouts as she makes her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. At the age of 38, she juggles work life and family life exceptionally well, but not without the help of her husband. Having met in their senior year of high school, Mr. and Mrs. Lee are on their 20th year of marriage which blessed them with 4 sons. 

The eldest, Taeil, internships for the management department of their shared workplace. Recently having graduated high school, Taeil decided to take a semester off before going away for college. Two years following the birth of Taeil, they had Yuta. Yuta, a junior in high school and captain of the soccer team, spends most of his time on the field, only coming home when it is time for dinner. Once Mr. Lee and Mrs. Lee had climbed the company ladder, and no longer had to work all night and day, they decided it was time to expand their family. Their third son, Taeyong, came a long six years after Yuta. Currently in 5th grade, Taeyong spends his free time painting with his mother, unlike his younger brother and the couples’ youngest son, Jeno. Jeno, a seven year-old, found a new passion in video games after attempting to play soccer with his brother Yuta and subsequently losing his two front teeth. 

Taeyong coughs, earning his mother’s attention. She sets down the water pitcher she was holding and moves to pinch her son’s cheeks. “Yongie. Always the best boy.” She says in a soft voice, smiling down at her son. 

Taeyong spins around, lifting his arms as high as he can. His black puffy coat prevents him from lifting them higher than an 80 degree angle. He smiles and spins twice more before staggering to catch his balance. “I am ready to go!” He shouts as his mother navigates around the counter and pours water in a bottle to take on the road. She smiles at him once more, before directing her attention to her husband entering the kitchen. 

He looks at his wife, then at his son who’s clasping his gloved hands like a crab does it’s claws. “Ready to get going? I wouldn’t want to be late to your mother’s house.” He directs his question towards his wife, and speaks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Turning towards Taeyong once more he asks, “Plus, there’s no better time than now to see all of the lights. Is there?”

Taeyong hops in place, “Let’s go!” He runs around the kitchen island to grab his mother’s hand. “We have to go now mommy!” His grasp slips from hers as he races to the house’s entrance. “O’ Christmas lights, o’ Christmas lights. How lovely are though- thy, I don’t know!” He sings.

His parents follow close behind, smiling as they make their way through the living room. Taeyong and his mother exit the house and his father pauses, feeling the cold air enter through the front. He turns to look up the stairs, hearing two different song melodies competing with another from separate rooms, and the sound of what is probably a computer game coming from another. “We will be back soon boys. Behave.” He shouts up the stairs, turning to leave the house without waiting for a response he knows he won’t receive.  
.  
Taeyong presses his forehead against the backseat window, his skin becoming numb from the cold. He pulls back slightly with a pout on his lips as he waits for the fog his breath caused to disappear.

His father places his hand on the back of the passenger seat to turn towards the backseat. “Are you excited about turning 10 tomorrow?” He asks, turning back to focus on the road after his wife nudges his shoulder. 

Taeyong draws a heart on the fading fog of the window before sitting back in his seat. “No!” He shouts with a hint of playfulness in his voice. “Yes and no. I don’t know!” He shouts again, crossing his arms across his chest. 

It’s his mother who turns this time, trying to lock eyes with her son. Taeyong giggles before leaning his head towards the middle seat so his mother doesn’t have to strain her neck. “What do you mean no?” She questions. She mimics her son’s pout and he erupts in laughter. 

“Doyoung isn’t going to be here! He’s out of town visiting his grandmama and papa. Why celebrate without him? He’s my best friend.” His pout subsides as he decides to bite the inside of his cheek instead. Suddenly feeling too hot as his ears redden, Taeyong shimmy’s his way out of his coat and removes his gloves one by one with his teeth. 

His parents look at each other and share a smile, before his dad focuses on the road once again. “You have three best friends at home to celebrate with Yongie.” Taeyong rolls his eyes, but realizes he was caught as he locks eyes with his father in the rear view mirror. 

His mother intervenes before his father can respond, “Taeyong, listen!” She moves to raise the volume on the car stereo and what was a faint melody now rings through the car loudly. 

Taeyong’s eyes flicker to the clock. **7:23 pm**. He smiles as he realizes what song is playing and he begins to sing along. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. Just like the ones I used to know. Where the treetops glisten and children listen. To hear sleigh bells in the snow.” His eyes light up as the dark night sky fills with shining lights down the city streets. He steals a glance at his parents, seeing smiles on their faces. He runs his palm over his chest, searching for a gift he received the year prior. Finally, his hand rests over his heart as he holds the snowflake pendant in his grasp and leans his head back. His eyes fall closed and the smile remains on his face as he continues to hum the tune of White Christmas.  
.  
As Taeyong’s eyes open, they shoot to the stereo clock. **7:28**. He hears a faint groan coming from his mother, whose body hovers just slightly above the passenger seat. He sneaks a glance towards the driver’s seat his father had occupied previously. His eye widen and he focuses back on his mother, attempting to reach out to her but realizes he cannot. His right hand is pinned to his chest by a shard of glass over the snowflake pendant. Another groan rings in his ears and he realizes it was his own. A pounding sensation in his head makes him want to cry and the seatbelt wrapped around his waist and neck are the only things keeping him from hitting his head on the car roof. Taeyong whimpers and reaches for his mother again, but with his left hand. His car now upside down, plays Home for the Holidays. Taeyong shakes his head and tears cloud his vision. Grandma is going to be so mad that they are late, Taeyong thinks to himself. Grandma always said daddy was irresponsible. Said he’d be late to his own funeral. “Taeyong.” His mother whispers. Her voice is muffled, like when Taeyong’s older brother Taeil covers Yuta’s face with his pillow to keep him from telling on him. Taeyong shakes his head again, his older brothers always cause so much trouble. He taste metal in his mouth. It reminds him of the taste of having his necklace in his mouth. His mother told him to stop doing that. _I should listen more_ , he thinks. The song comes to an end, and the words “For the holidays you can’t beat home, sweet home” are played as he drifts to sleep.  
***  


#### December 24, 2021

Taeil wakes up to the sound of his alarm clock filling his room. Turning to his side, he fumbles to turn off the sound. Tears threaten to fall down his cheeks as frustration takes over him and he begins to frantically toss his blankets and pillows on the ground. 

A knock on his door causes him to sit up, hanging his legs over the side of his bed. He clasps his hands together on his lap and coughs to indicate the person should come in. 

The door opens to reveal his younger brother Yuta who rubs his eyes and snakes a hand under his large pajama shirt to lay his palm on his belly. “Hyung. If you’re done doing whatever it is you were doing-.” Yuta begins before biting his lower lip and changing his tone from a sarcastic one to one that fakes empathy. “The kids are getting ready down stairs. They are going to need our help. We are going to drive with the Kims. Mr. and Mrs. Kim will drive separately so everyone fits.” 

Taeil stares blankly at his brother as if he’s still in a dream state before the gears start turning in his head. “I can just drive us. We have to get their early anyways. No need to trouble them.” Taeil says in a whisper. 

“You shouldn’t be driving to our parents’ funeral Hyung.” Yuta says matter-of-factly, and Taeil flinches at the word funeral. “And you definitely should not be driving back.” Yuta ignores the way his brother’s eyebrows furrow, but he takes a step closer to challenge his older brother who now stands from his bed. They hold eye contact, standing at the same height, a new development as Yuta had another growth spurt in the summer. 

Taeil’s eyebrows soften and his shoulders deflate, but Yuta stands strong. “I’m not going to fight with you right now.” Taeil settles on saying and moves to grab his suit hanging from his closet. Yuta stands quietly by the door as Taeil unzips the bag holding the suit his father used to wear in his early college years. The suit his father would stand proudly in when he and their mother tried to fit in to a world of successful business people. They would dress up and pretend, until they proved themselves worthy and fell into the world like they were made for it. Taeil smiles and runs his hand on the inside of the suit before opening the jacket, revealing the words “together” sewn in blue string behind where the breast pocket lay. He looks down at the pants, and let’s out a sad laugh remembering when he and his father went to get the suit altered for Taeil’s shorter stature. 

Yuta turns away from his brother and allows himself to slip out through the opening of Taeil’s room. He knocks twice on his youngest brother’s door, slowly running his hand over the nameplate that reads “Jeno”, before continuing to his own room to change.  
.  
Jeno sits on the living room couch, fiddling with his dress shirt sleeves. He stops suddenly as he hears a frustrated cry come from the nearest bathroom, and he shrinks into himself. He flinches when a hand is placed on his shoulder, and turns to meet his oldest brother’s gaze. 

“I’m going to check on Taeyong. Are you alright?” Taeil asks in a soft voice, never breaking eye contact with the youngest. Jeno hesitantly nods his head, bringing his knees up to his chest to hide his face. “No shoes on the couch.” Taeil says. Jeno uncovers his face to look up at his brother, with tears in his eyes. “Never mind. Just. Just, okay. The Kims should be here soon.” He rushes to say, leaving to check on the frustrated boy in the bathroom. 

The sight is no prettier in the bathroom. Taeyong’s left hand shakes as he tries to brush his hair. The black strands look a mess from being tugged in every which way. Taeyong throws the brush into the sink, and wails loudly in frustration, before bringing his left hand up to his face. He hits his own forehead twice with his palm, stopping only when Taeil’s hand wraps around his thin wrist. Taeyong tries to pull away, but Taeil gives him a warning glare. Defeated, Taeyong whimpers and looks down at his feet. Taeil let’s go, looking defeated himself. “You should be sitting. You’re not fully recovered yet.” He says, moving towards the sink to retrieve the brush. 

“I’m fine.” Taeyong says, but his legs give out from under him and he reaches to grab onto his eldest brother. “I’m fine.” He says weakly into his brother’s chest. Taeil holds on tightly to his brother’s waist, moving to sit him down on the tub’s ledge. He leaves one arm wrapped around Taeyong’s back, covered with a brace from the hospital, and uses his free hand to fix the boy’s hair. 

Taeil sounds disappointed, but talks softly, “If you’d just listen more.” Taeyong’s head snaps up, face painted white in shock before he turns towards the tub and spits. “Taeyong?” Taeil shouts. Taeyong just turns back to his brother with a blank expression.

“I thought I tasted blood in my mouth.” He says before standing weakly, ignoring the questioning look on Taeil’s face as he wobbles out of the bathroom. 

As he makes his way into the living room, Taeyong sees a head peer over the couch. He’s met with a smile from his best friend, and he can’t help but offer a small smile in return. Doyoung rushes off the couch, where he was sitting and comforting Jeno, and wraps his arms around Taeyong’s waist. He presses his head against Taeyong’s heart, pulling away when he earns a whimper in return. “Sorry.” He says before pulling at Taeyong to follow him to the couch.

“It’s okay. You just pushed on my cut.” Taeyong replies. He sits next to Jeno slowly with the help of Doyoung. Doyoung nods to show he understands. “That wouldn’t happen if you weren’t so short.” Doyoung scoffs, but then Jeno let’s out the softest laugh. They glance over at him in unison. His head hangs low, and he plays with his shirt sleeves. Doyoung looks away first, stopping himself from reaching out for Taeyong’s hand and settles back into the couch. Taeyong turns to intensely stare at Doyoung, and Doyoung tilts his head in response. He giggles and runs the back of his injured hand over Doyoung’s hair, laying the bandaged hand on his friend’s lap when he’s done. “You look like a bunny.” 

Doyoung huffs, but a smile forms on the corners of his lips. “Yeah, whatever.” He responds with a gentle push to Taeyong’s shoulder. Taeyong’s lips form a pout and begin to quiver, causing Doyoung’s eyes to widen in fear. “Yongie, I’m so-.” He’s cut off by Taeyong’s evil cackle. “You’re a meany.” He whines, but Taeyong continues to laugh at his best friend.  
.  
The loud sounds of horns up and down the highway buzz through Yuta’s ears as he stairs out the window in the backseat of Mr. Kim’s car. Traffic prevents them from moving and rain mixed with the snow on the street makes for slippery conditions. 

“So, will you all be moving in with your grandmother or staying at your house?” Mr. Kim asks to lengthen his conversation with Taeil. This catches Yuta’s attention as he waits for the elder’s response.

“The kids will probably move in with my grandmother or she can move into our house. I’m not sure. We haven’t really talked about that yet.” 

“Oh, and what would you do?” Mr. Kim continues. 

“Well I took this semester off, but I had planned to go to school in the spring. I will probably do that. Maybe I’ll go to Florida.” Taeil says in response. Yuta stares at the side-view mirror, trying to make eye contact with Taeil but fails. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go to Florida. I never really liked Chicago’s weather anyways.”  
.  
The rain lets up as they pull into the cemetery’s parking lot. When the car comes to a stop, Yuta quickly rushes out of the car. Taeil and Mr. Kim exchange a confused glance, but Mr. Kim offers a quick smile before turning the engine off. “He’s probably going to go help your brothers.” He reassures. 

“Yuta hyung!” Doyoung says in a sing-song voice as Yuta marches towards his group. Taeyong and Jeno move to hide behind Doyoung, who just giggles. Yuta stops abruptly, bowing as a greeting to Mrs. Kim who he didn’t get the chance to greet earlier. “Hyung.” Doyoung says once more with a smile on his face, stretching from ear to ear. Yuta’s expression softens as he reaches out to tousle the child’s hair. 

Doyoung squirms away, patting his hair down with a pout on his face. “Enough of that Doie.” His mother says, reaching to help him fix his hair. “Your face will get stuck like that if you continue to pout.” She pulls away when she realizes the three boys are looking at their exchange with sad expressions. 

Yuta is the first to shake out of his daze, stomping away once more as Taeil approaches with Mr. Kim. “We should start heading over.” Mr. Kim says.  
.  
Taeyong grips tightly onto Yuta’s arm as his legs weaken. From his other side, Taeil wraps an arm around his waist, holding him in place. Taeyong’s eyes land on Doyoung’s from across the gravesite. Doyoung offers a sad smile and keeps his gaze on Taeyong. Looking away, Taeyong realizes he’s caught the attention of more than just his best friend, as the other guests stare at him rather noticeably. He looks down and sighs. “Okay.” He whispers, pulling away from Taeil slightly to stand on his own two feet. Doyoung moves to step forward, but freezes in place when the priest begins to speak. “Lift us from the darkness of this grief to the peace and light of your presence.”

As the graves are covered, the guests begin to walk away. The Kims offer a silent prayer before distancing themselves, allowing the family to have their own moment. Their grandmother follows, and Doyoung takes her hand.

Taeyong looks back at Doyoung who smiles as he speaks to his best friend’s grandmother. “Okay, let’s say our goodbyes.” Taeil whispers, bringing Taeyong’s focus back to the twin graves. “Would someone like to say anything? Jeno?”

Jeno grasps Taeil’s hand firmly, shaking his head and letting tears fall down his face for the first time that day. Taeyong follows, squeezing the hands of Yuta and Taeil as he sobs. Yuta let’s go of Taeyong’s hand, placing his palm against the younger’s shoulder instead. Taeil nods, “Okay.” He cries as he pulls Jeno to form a group hug. “We’ll be okay. As long as we have each other. Right?” 

In unison the younger siblings respond, “together.” 

Taeil laughs softly, “that’s right. Together. Our parents would accept no less. It’s the four of us now and we can’t let that change.” The four remain huddled tightly until a raindrop slides down Taeyong’s face. “Let’s get going now.” Taeil whispers guiding Taeyong and Jeno towards the Kims. Yuta gives one last look to the graves before following.  
.  
As the family, their grandmother, and the Kims make their way into the house, Taeil stops in place. Spotting a car parking and blocking their driveway, he shakes his head and smiles. “Close the door Jeno!” He shouts before making his way down the driveway to meet the stranger exiting his car. “I haven’t seen you since graduation.” Taeil says softly. 

Johnny, the eldest son of Taeil’s parents’ business partner, appears from around the car with a bouquet of black roses. They hug awkwardly, as Johnny holds the roses over Taeil’s head as to not crush them. “For you.” He says handing the flowers over and taking a step back so there’s distance between them. 

“Black roses?” Taeil brings the flowers to his nose to smell them. He smiles shyly before attempting to meet Johnny’s eyes.

Johnny’s gaze remains focused on his own shoes as he nods. “I thought you had told me that your favorite color was black.” He says before coughing to clear his throat. 

Taeil smiles again. He reaches out to gently punch Johnny’s chest. Johnny has clearly grown since the last time they met, now standing at what must be 6 feet and a couple of inches. Muscle wise, he’s still somewhat tiny in build, but the first semester at college has seemed to firm his chest up a bit. “How’s college going? Did you just get back for break?” Taeil questions. 

Johnny finally looks up to meet Taeil’s gaze and his ears fill with warmth. “Yesterday. I got back yesterday. It’s alright. I’m doing what I’ve always been expected to do, and I’m doing good at it. I’ll graduate and I’ll work in the same company as our parents-.” He stops and looks back down to his feet. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Taeil says with a shrug. “If you want you can come in and say hi to the kids or whatever.” Taeil’s ears now mirror Johnny’s with redness. 

“I would love to but I was supposed to meet with Ten and his family for dinner.” Taeil’s smile falters and Johnny opens his mouth to speak but decides not to.

“Alright. Well sometime then. Maybe next time you’re back home John.” Taeil smiles again and waves as he turns to head back to his home. “Thank you for the flowers. Send your father my condolences.” 

Johnny stays in place, “I’ll do that. Sorry again, for your loss.” He shouts across the driveway, waiting for Taeil to enter and close the door behind him, before he makes his way back to his car. 

Taeil shakes his head as he shuts the door and smiles to himself. He stops in the hall as he hears his grandmothers voice “-and my house isn’t very far from here. You can continue going to the same schools, or you can transfer. It would be completely up to you guys.” Their grandmother finishes, looking around the kid’s living room to see nothing but disapproving faces. She looks past them and towards the joint kitchen to where Mr. and Mrs. Kim have distanced themselves. 

Taeyong shifts his weight on the couch, gaining himself attention from his best friend who sits by his feet on the floor. Doyoung reaches for Taeyong’s bandaged hand and brings their joined hands to lay on his shoulder, turning back to the grandmother. Jeno, sitting next to Doyoung on the floor, remains focused on the ground in front of him. 

“This is our house. We live here. Why can’t you just move here with us?” Yuta questions.

“Yuta!” Mrs. Kim warns from the kitchen. He shrinks in on himself in response, before bowing in apology to his grandmother and then at Mrs. Kim. 

“I’m getting old. I can’t just get up and move out of my house. Plus it would be good for you all to have a new beginning. A chance to start over.” 

“But halmeoni-.” Yuta stops when Taeil makes his presence known. He runs his hands against his face harshly, and his shoulders slump down in defeat. 

“Halmeoni, there’s no need to have these discussions. We appreciate your offer to live with you, but this is our home and this is where we are staying.” Taeil states simply, and all eyes look at him in shock. 

“What about school? You are only 18. You cannot raise three children.” Their grandmother replies more worryingly than accusingly. 

“I have a job. It pays enough. I can always go back to school later than planned, and it’s not like we were left with no money.” Taeil says sadly.

“We are just down the street. Taeil has been in charge of the household for some time now, and he has Yuta’s help. There shouldn’t be anything to worry about.” Mrs. Kim now cuts in and all eyes shoot her way. 

Their grandmother opens her mouth and closes it several times before giving up and throwing her hands in the air. “Okay why not? What could possibly go wrong?” 

Yuta jumps from the couch, clasping his hands together and shaking them in the air. Jeno mimics his older brother before jumping back onto the couch and then on Yuta’s back. Taeyong wraps his arms around Doyoung’s neck harshly before pulling away, the sting from the cut on his chest making it’s presence known once more. Doyoung looks up worryingly, earning a small smile from Taeyong, before he hugs his best friend’s legs. Taeil remains standing by the doorway with his hands crossed over his chest. A small smile forms on his lips as he turns to look out the window to the driveway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	2. Can't Lie Around Remembering Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the 10th anniversary of their parents death, the brothers cannot help but to fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the 2nd chapter of 3. More adult content occurs in this chapter (swearing, mention of alcohol use). This chapter ended up being twice as long as I had first intended, so thank you if you are willing to power through.

#### November 17, 2020

“I never knew 'til I looked in your eyes, oh baby. I was incomplete 'til the day you walked into my life, ooh and I never knew that my heart could feel so precious and pure, our love is so real.” Taeyong sings as he dances his way into the kitchen, swaying to the beat in his head. His pink hair bouncing with each step. He passes Jeno, planting a wet kiss to the boy’s cheek. The younger boy giggles, continuing to eat the cereal in front of him. Taeyong ruffles the boy’s hair slightly then continues his dance to his eldest brother. 

“What is it you are doing?” Taeil questions with concern in his voice before receiving two wet kiss of his own to both cheeks. He wipes his face with the back of his palms before flipping another pancake. Turning the stove knob off, he moves to whack Taeyong on the back of the head. 

Taeyong fakes cries from his new seat next to Jeno before singing some more. “Can I just see you every morning when I open my eyes? Can I just feel your heart beating beside me every night? Can we just feel this way together 'til the end of all time? Can I just spend my life with you?” He takes Jeno’s hand in his, allowing the younger boy to drop his spoon in the bowl, and then serenades him lovingly.

“Taeyong is just happy that Doyoung comes back from school in exactly one month.” Jeno says proudly. 

“First of all-.” Taeyong glares at Jeno. “No. Second, how do you know when he’s coming?” 

“Honey, Doyoung is everyone’s boyfriend.” Yuta interrupts. Smiling widely as he sees the pancakes and biscuits by Taeil. 

“He’s not my boy-.” Taeyong begins to say, but is interrupted by Jeno who frowns, “so you aren’t excited to see him?” 

“That’s not what I meant!” Taeyong rushes to say, afraid he will be cut-off once more.

“If you don’t want him, can I have him?” Yuta asks before shoving half a biscuit in his mouth. 

“Well then what did you mean?” Taeil adds.

“Can everyone stop talking at the same damn time?” Taeyong shouts before abandoning his breakfast and storming out towards the living room. He scoops down to pick up his bag and keys on the way out.

“Wait. I am confused. Taeyong and Doyoung aren’t dating?” Taeil questions as he places his hands on his hips. “What do they call going on dates, having sleepovers, and spending the holidays together?”

“Friendship.” Yuta laughs, immediately joined by his other brothers. Jeno wipes away his milk mustache before running after Taeyong. 

“Have fun at school buddy!” Taeil and Yuta shout simultaneously, Taeil’s tone genuine and Yuta’s a mocking one. Taeil rolls his eyes and grabs the last biscuit before Yuta can. 

.

Jeno sits up straight, stretching his hands above his head. A loud yawn escapes his lips, earning him a warning glare from the librarian at the front desk. He bows quickly and covers his face with his hands. 

Jaemin, the only new junior in the whole school, giggles. “What are you doing for winter break?” Although they’ve only known each other for three months, Jeno finds comfort in Jaemin. Being a new student and coming from a state across the country, Jaemin did not have any friends at the beginning of the school year. Jeno, although in his third year, did not have many friends due to him being the “weird orphan kid who probably likes boys just as much as his brothers.” 

Jeno sighs to himself, remembering the complete contrast of a high school experience Yuta and Taeyong had. Yuta being 16 when the accident happened and returning to school when the wound was still fresh, was welcomed with nothing but sympathy. He spent his last two years being coddled by students and teachers alike. Taeyong didn’t enter high school for another five years following the accident, but by then he was handsome, athletic, musically-inclined, and overall perfect. Jeno thought he’d only have to live in Taeyong’s shadow for the one year they both attended the school, but he quickly realized his brother’s legacy would never fade. Jaemin’s foot touches Jeno’s, causing Jeno to freeze in place.

“Sorry.” Jaemin says, but the smile on his face suggests otherwise. He moves his leg away from the stunned boy before repeating his question. “What are you doing for winter break?”

“Sorry.” Jeno now says. “I’ll just spend time with my family. I don’t know. Taeyong will spend most of his time with Doyoung-.”

“His best friend?” Jaemin asks for clarification.

Jeno nods before continuing, “And Taeil said he wants us to meet his friend Johnny. I think his dad was close with our parents at some point, and Johnny and Taeil went to school together from pre-K ‘till the end of high school.” He shrugs, “I don’t know if I met him or his dad to be honest. Yuta will probably do as Yuta does.” 

Jaemin nods and hums in acknowledgement. “Do as Yuta does?”

“Yeah. He works a lot. I think at a psychology office or whatever. Then he goes out and brings someone home, but they never know when to leave. Always showing themselves to breakfast when Yuta has already left for work.” Jeno laughs and Jaemin mirrors the smile that forms on his face.

“Poor ladies.” Jaemin exaggerates a frown.

“Yeah.” Jeno looks down, rubbing the sweat from his hands on his thighs. “Well, actually. Ladies yeah, but mostly-.” He laughs nervously. “Mostly guys.” He nods before repeating himself. “Yeah, mostly guys.” 

Jaemin smiles at Jeno fondly, allowing his gaze to linger on his lips. “That’s cool.” He says nonchalantly. 

“Yeah I guess.” Jeno finally returns Jaemin’s smile, which only causes the boy’s smiler to grow wider. Reverting his eyes back down to his thighs he returns the question, “so, what are you doing for winter break?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Jaemin teases. His smile falters and for the first time since the day they met, Jeno sees nervousness in the way Jaemin wrings his hands together. He recalls telling Jaemin about his parents and the way Jaemin reached out for his hand to comfort him, so he does the same. Jaemin smiles again as he stares at Jeno’s large hand encompassing his own. “My dad is leaving on the 17th to do business in Seoul, and he’s trying to send me to my mother’s since she lives around there, but I don’t want to. I have been begging him to let me stay home by myself, but he keeps saying ‘no son! You’re sixteen! What kind of father would I be if I left my sixteen year old child home alone in Chicago where no one could get to him if there’s an emergency? Go spend time with your mother! She loves you!’ Urgh!” Jaemin lowers his voice as the librarian shushes him. “If my mother loved me so much, she wouldn’t have left me to marry someone 20 years older than my father and totally, 100%, super-duper richer.” Jaemin slumps back into his chair dramatically. 

“Stay with me.” Jeno says, surprising Jaemin and himself. Jaemin’s raised eyebrows lower and knit together, as he stares at Jeno questioningly. “Yeah, it’s no problem. I’ll probably be by myself most of the time anyways, and I can’t see my brothers objecting. They all have visitors coming, so why not?” Jeno rambles on, seemingly trying to convince himself more than he is Jaemin. 

Jaemin’s face relaxes and he shrugs, “sure I’ll ask my dad and text you.”

.

Jeno throws his book bag on the living room floor and rushes up the stairs, coming to a halt when he hears Taeil’s voice from the living room. “Jeno! If you do not come back down here right this instant, you won’t get to play those games of yours until the end of Chinese New Year!” Jeno hurries down the stairs quicker than he ran up them, and slings his bag over his shoulder before proceeding to run up the stairs again. 

“What’s got you all in a hurry?” Taeyong questions from his bedroom doorway, which is straight across from Jeno’s. Jeno releases his hold on his door knob, turning to face his brother. 

“I need to charge my phone.” 

“Sure. Sure.” Taeyong pauses, a smirk forming on his face. “As you’ve always done when you’ve gotten home from school.”

“I am-.” Jeno reaches behind himself to open his door, not breaking eye contact with his older brother. “I’m waiting for a text. Nothing important.” Taeyong nods, and Jeno feels the tips of his ears warming up, but he decides it’s time to win whatever game his older brother is trying to play. “You know, Doyoung really liked your hair when it was that greenish-blue. The hair you had for senior year of high school. I think it is a nice contrast against his jet black hair, but what do I know.” Jeno says, but his confidence quickly fades and he rushes into his room. He shuts the door quickly and locks it before throwing himself on his bed. 

Taeyong scoffs, returning to his own room and locking the door. The sound of his best friend’s voice comes from his desk, “Taeyongie hyung. Answer your phone. Answer answer an-.” Taeyong accepts the call, holding his phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“Doie?” He questions, organizing the papers spread out on his desk.

There’s a pause on the other end of the line before Doyoung is speaking, “what’s your favorite scary movie?” He asks, deepening his voice. Their shared laughter comes to an end when Doyoung continue his questioning. “How was classes today, hyung? Did you have fun? Are you busy right now? Did you eat well today? How is your back? Do I need to call you back late-.”

“Doyoung!” Taeyong shouts playfully before taking his phone in his hand and sitting on the edge of his bed. “Jeez, one question at a time.” He smiles to himself when he hears a faint giggle on the other end. 

“I just miss you hyung. We haven’t talked in forever.”

“We FaceTimed yesterday Doie.” Taeyong knows his friend is pouting on the other end, and his smile widens. 

“Yesterday was forever ago. Isn’t that what they say? Forever and a day? That’s because a day is like forever right? Or can feel like it?”

“I do not think that’s what that means. What is it their teaching you over there at Stanford huh? You can’t afford to loss anymore brain c-“.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence hyung! I won’t come home for winter break! I swear!” 

Taeyong giggles at the threat, but his smile fades. “Please come home soon Doie. Taeil and Yuta are being weird, I mean I guess no weirder than normal, but Jeno-.” He sighs. “He’s being way weirder than normal. I don’t know what’s going on and no one tells me anything.” 

“Jeno’s probably just being weird because of Jaemin.” 

Taeyong straightens his posture and holds the phone closer, “who?” 

“Jaemin?” Doyoung pauses. “Nana? Jeno’s new student friend? The one who has baby blue hair and delicately curved lips? Slender hands that fit so perfectly into Jeno’s larger ones? The one Jeno wants to go on a bike riding trip with across the world and into the sun?” Doyoung laughs, allowing Taeyong to fumble out a response. 

“Jeno’s never mentioned him to me.” Taeyong pouts. “Since when have you too been so close?”

“Him and I had lunch together last year remember? When you left us to fend for ourselves in that Hellhole of a high school.”

Taeyong shifts to lie on his back. “It’s not my fault I was a year older.”

“You could have failed one grade. It wouldn’t have hurt.” Doyoung laughs at his own joke. 

Taeyong smiles again, an unconscious response to his best friend’s happiness. “Well that wouldn’t do, would it? How could I deserve to be best friends with the valedictorian if I couldn’t get through high school in four years?” This time Doyoung sighs. “What is it?”

There’s a long pause before Doyoung responds. “Just thinking.” Sensing Taeyong won’t be satisfied with that answer, he continues, “Jaehyun wants to meet with me at the coffee shop two blocks from my dorm tomorrow morning. Do you remember the one we went to when you visited for Halloween?” Taeyong hums in response. “Well, yeah he wants to meet with me there, but I don’t know why he would say that. We meet there every morning anyways. Why would he suddenly schedule a meeting? I know he’s going to break up with me. That’s fine, whatever, but in public? Why does everyone do that to me?”

Taeyong takes his bottom lip between his teeth. “Doyoung, you are probably just overthinking. Jaehyun likes you a lot. He’s serious about you. Why wouldn’t he be?” He rolls over on his side now, lifting his free hand up to stretch out the side of his back. 

Doyoung scoffs. “Why wouldn’t he? I can think of plenty of reasons.”

“I can’t.” Taeyong pauses when he hears his name faintly being called by Taeil. “Just relax a bit. You are probably over thinking. You guys can work whatever it is out if he does have concerns. I like Jaehyun, alright? He’s one of the best people you’ve ever dated.”

“Okay.” Doyoung whispers. 

“I love you Doyoung.” Shifting to get up from the bed, he switches his phone to his other ear to stretch his other side. “I’m going to get going. I think dinners ready. Stop stressing so much. Call me tomorrow if anything happens.”

“I love you.” Doyoung replies and Taeyong ends the call. 

.

The lights from the bar shine brightly, but the faces in the crowd are blurred as they jump up and down to the beat. Yuta downs his shot in one go, reaching for his vibrating phone. He rolls his eyes, his phone showing the same number that it has fifteen times that evening. He makes his way to return to the dance floor and his eyes meet with a man who has one pointed ear. Yuta smiles, finding the ear charming. The man doesn’t return his smile, instead glaring angrily at Yuta. Yuta thinks if looks could kill, he’d be dead. 

His attention is brought back to his phone vibrating in his pocket once more. Feeling disappointed at his exchange with the ‘fairy man’, he decides to make his was to the club bathroom. “How may I fucking help you?” He all but growls into his phone.

“I’m pregnant asshole.” 

Yuta scoffs. “You have the wrong number,” he says before ending the call. His phone rings again and he sighs. “My apologies for not being clear. However, I said you have the wrong-.”

“It’s Yuri. We met at the bar and I asked you to buy me a drink. You said you don’t buy drinks for anyone, so I stole yours. Gin is gross by the way. I’m pregnant Yuta. I don’t want you to be involved. I just wanted you to know.” 3 beeps indicate the phone call ended and Yuta swears under his breath before calling the number back. 

There’s pounding on the bathroom door and a slurred voice shouts, “Hurry up man! I’m going to piss on myself.” Yuta hastily opens the door and pushes past the drunk man, causing him to stumble back. He ignores the glares directed at him from the line that formed by the door and exits the bar.

***

#### Friday, December 16, 2020

According to schedule, Jaemin arrives at study hall 2 minutes after the bell rings. “Jeno.” He sings.

Jeno whips his head up, eyebrows raised comically. “No honorifics?” 

Jaemin giggles and throws his bag under the table. “We are only a year apart. Plus, that’s what best friends do!” 

Jeno’s smiles grows wide at that, turning his eyes into crescents. “Oh, okay.” He whispers. “Best friend.” His shy response earns him another giggle from the younger boy.

“Since I’m coming over in the morning, should I pick you guys up and drive to the airport?” Jaemin questions, retrieving his notes from his bag.

“Oh no.” Jeno laughs. Jaemin quirks an eye brow at his abruptness. “I mean, we can go to the airport with Taeyong, but he’ll never let anyone drive him anywhere. Like ever.” Jeno shakes his head frantically. 

“Oh.” Jaemin says offering Jeno a sympathetic look. “Cause of the accident?” Jeno nods, and Jaemin returns the nod to show he understands.

“But we should go with him. I’d like to see Doyoungie before my other brothers get a hold of him.” Jeno giggles. 

“And they aren’t dating, right?” Jaemin asks for confirmation. Jeno shakes his head and Jaemin makes a mental note. “But Yuta is dating Jessie?” 

“Yuta doesn’t date. Taeil is dating Johnny.” Jeno corrects. The younger nods and brings his hand to his cheek, laying the weight of his head on his elbow. 

“Okay! I think I got it!” 

Jeno smiles at his friend. “Don’t worry about it, really. The boys come and go.” Jeno shrugs. “Doyoung is the one constant.” He smiles to himself. “Taeyong will catch on eventually.” 

Jaemin bites his bottom lip and shrugs. “Maybe.” He says softly before tracing Jeno’s face with his gaze. “Maybe.” He repeats. 

.

Taeyong lays on his back, eyes studying the notebook abandoned on his therapist’s lap before focusing back on the ceiling. “Doyoung comes home tomorrow.”

“Hmmm.” Dr. Qian nods. “That’s exciting. You haven’t seen him since Halloween, correct?”

“Yeah. I’m very excited. Jeno’s best friend will also be visiting. So, the house should be pretty packed.”

“That sounds nice. Having some guests over may help ease some tension between you all. I’m assuming Taeil will be inviting his boyfriend over as well?”

Taeyong groans loudly in response. “I guess so. Johnny’s over all the time. In the morning, he’s helping Taeil make breakfast. Before dinner, he sets the table. I don’t get it.” He rolls over to lock eyes with his therapist. “Why put so much effort into a relationship that’s casual?” 

“Maybe it isn’t as casual now as it was at the start.” Dr. Qian suggests earning himself an eye roll from his patient.

“It’s casual.” He asserts. 

“People change; beliefs change. Maybe they decided they wanted to be in a serious relationship, like maybe, just maybe” Dr. Qian leans forward in his sofa chair “you’ll want to change your plans and marry.”

Taeyong scoffs and sits up to challenge the man in front of him. “I will never marry.” Taeyong says certainly. “I told you: if I ever were to marry, I would marry Doyoung, but I couldn’t marry him, so I’d never marry.”

“If you were to marry anyone, it would be Doyoung?”

“Yes, I already told you this.”

“Yes, and is that why you have made this agreement with yourself? If you ever marry, it would have to be to Doyoung, but you never want to marry Doyoung; therefore, you’ll never marry?”

“What? No, it’s not that!”

“Could you ever love Doyoung like that? Enough to marry him?”

Taeyong’s nostrils flair and he shakes his head, “could Doyoung ever love me like that?” His hands gesture widely in front of him. “He’s the son of two very wealthy, highly respected, and successful chief executives. His older brother graduated from Harvard Law School and now owns his own private practice. He was accepted into each of the eight Ivy League schools, and now attends Stanford for management science and engineering. His future is so bright, you can see it shining from outer space.”

“You are smart enough to know prestige and wealth and social class are not the definitive characteristics of a relationship. Has Doyoung ever looked at you as less than himself?”

“He would never.” Taeyong defends. 

“Then?”

“If none of that mattered, then why is Taeil so eager to marry a man he doesn’t love, but believes would put him into a social position that will better his own position in life?”

“Who’s to say he doesn’t love Johnny? Who’s to say they don’t both love each other, but have come to an agreement of marriage for both sides to gain something from the other? And, who’s to say they don’t have the right to choose whether to marry for love or for companionship or for convenience? They are both consenting adults, and I don’t peg Taeil as being someone who would mask his own intentions.”

Taeyong leans back into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. “Shouldn’t you be more professional instead of judgmental?” His head tilts to the side and he raises an eyebrow at his therapist.

“Shouldn’t you be on your way to pick up Jeno from school, or are we just going to keep feeling sorry for ourselves?” Dr. Qian mirrors Taeyong’s head tilt and pouts. “I’m not going to be fake with you, Taeyong.” He sits up and removes his glasses from his breast pocket, setting them in his face. “I’ve been working with you for almost ten years now, and I owe it to your parents to be real with you, regardless if my honesty hurts your ego. Enjoy your time with Doyoung, alright. And, go pick up your brother. I’ll see you next Friday.” 

.

Taeil sits down on the living room couch, laying his head back. A smile shines on his face as he speaks to his boyfriend in the kitchen. “You really don’t have to wait on me hand and foot.” Remnants of a laugh can be heard in his voice.

Johnny enters the room, using both of his hands to cautiously carry the hot tea cup. “If I don’t, then who will?” Handing over the cup to Taeil, he bends down to kiss the older boy’s forehead. He takes a seat next to his boyfriend with a smile on his face. Leaning down, he yanks Taeil’s legs onto his lap and begins to massage the elder’s legs. 

A pleased sigh emits from Taeil’s lips and he shifts to lay onto his back. “Tea and a massage? What did I do to deserve all of this?”

Johnny pauses his massage to reach for one of Taeil’s hands. Once he succeeds, he places a kiss to the back of it. “You deserve so much more.” He places another kiss to Taeil’s hand before peppering kisses up the elder’s forearm. “Marry me and let me give you everything in my power.”

Taeil squirms away with a pout on his face. “You’re gonna to make me spill my tea.” Placing the tea on the living room table, he looks back at Johnny. “I’ll marry you when you get everyone’s approval.” 

At that, Johnny pouts. “Jeno doesn’t care for me. Taeyong hates me. Yuta is the only one that seemed to like me even just a little, but I can’t even recall the last time I saw him. He wakes up, leaves, and when he comes back he immediately goes to his room.”

Taeil leans closer to Johnny, caressing the side of his face gently. “Don’t pout you big baby. I can’t possibly take care of another child when Doyoung and Jaemin stay over. And, don’t worry about Jeno and Taeyong. Jeno’s just particular about who comes around. Is that a good word?” Taeil pauses, and Johnny hums as a ‘yes’. “He grew up depending on the three of us, and he doesn’t exactly love change. And, Taeyong will be easier to convince when Doyoung is here. Trust me.” 

“Okay.” Johnny pouts again, earning him a punch to the shoulder. The sound of the door opening and closing catches their attention. A gust of cold wind sends a shiver down their spines.

“Yongie is being weird again! Jeno shouts as he rushes up the stairs. Before Taeil can complain, Jeno stops halfway to greet the couple. “Hello hyung one and hyung two. Excuse me, I must clean my room.” 

The door opens and closes again, this time revealing a disheveled Taeyong. He clutches onto his book bag, and his pants are soaked. Johnny and Taeil look at each other worryingly. “You look like you ran a marathon and then swam home.” Taeil says.

“Don’t even get me started. The day I had-.” Taeyong places a hand on his hip and steadies himself to catch his breath. “I don’t know if you realized but not only did it snow in the morning, now there’s some ice on the floor. I totally wiped out getting out the car. Anyways.” Taeyong begins to make his way up the stairs, speaking loudly so he can still be heard. “I need to rest before my back gives out. Call me when dinners ready. I need to prep for Doyoung tomorrow.” 

Johnny’s eyes widen and he whips his head in Taeil’s direction. Taeil shakes his head, ensuring Johnny that it isn’t what he thinks, then he laughs to himself. “Wow, he didn’t insult you today.” Taeil whispers.

Taeyong peaks his head over the railing, “Sorry I forgot.” He pauses. “You don’t live here, Johnny.” Johnny sulks and Taeil gently caresses the back of his neck for support. 

***

#### Saturday, December 17, 2020

Five minutes before his alarm is set to go off, Jeno pounces off his bed. Stumbling slightly, he giggles to himself and makes his way into the upstairs bathroom. What looks like blue hair dye stains the sink. Jeno shakes his head and makes a mental note to ask Taeyong about the mess. 

When he finishes his morning routine, spending 30 minutes on his hair alone, he skips through the hallway. He pauses in front of Yuta’s bedroom, seeing an abandoned plate of last night’s dinner. Bending down to pick it up, he continues his journey down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Did Yuta not come home last night?” He asks when he spots Taeyong in the kitchen sporting a freshly dyed head of hair. “Nice hair, by the way.”

Taeyong bites the inside of his cheek, flaring his nostrils. “Don’t. Don’t make a big deal out of it,” he says sternly. Continuing to make sandwiches, he shrugs at Jeno’s question. “I haven’t really seen Yuta around at all. I assumed he came home after I fell asleep on my laptop. I was working hard perfecting the itinerary for Doyoung’s break.”

Jeno hums. “Can I have one?” He asks before snatching a sandwich from the growing pile in front of him. “Thanks.” Taeyong rolls his eyes and Jeno snickers, taking his sandwich into the living room. He flips onto the couch and kicks his feet, satisfied with the food in his hands. 

The sounds of Taeyong rummaging through the cabinets is muffled under the sound of Taeil speeding down the stairs. “Jeno, honey, that’s not a healthy breakfast.” He says as he passes behind the couch and into the kitchen. “Wow, you’re up too? I never thought I’d see the day where you both woke up before me.” He scoffs at the sight of Taeyong packaging sandwiches into a lunch box. “You too? This is why I wake up first! Sandwiches are not good for breakfast.” 

The younger shrugs. “No time to cook and these aren’t for right now. I’ll eat them with Doyoung. He’s always hungry after plane rides.” Taeil snickers suddenly, and Taeyong stops to glare at him. 

Taeil shakes his head and his snickering transforms into his whole body shaking with laughter. “I was so offended by that snack you call breakfast that I didn’t even realize you no longer look like pink cotton candy but blue.”

Taeyong mumbles incoherently in an attempt to mock his older brother before snatching his lunch box and making his way into the living room. There he spots Jeno sitting on the couch, leaning forward with an excited smile plastered in his face. “Don’t face plant onto the floor.” Taeyong teases. “Is your buddy almost here? I want to get going.” As if on cue, the doorbell rings. 

The brothers both turn to get the door, but Jeno pushes Taeyong on the couch. Out of breath he opens the door. “Hi! Come in! Welcome to hotel Lee!” Jaemin stands on the other side of the door, a smile on his face and duffle bag in hand. He chuckles when Jeno motions him to enter. 

Jaemin stomps his boots on the welcome mat before entering. “Sorry I took so long. My father was out cold.” His eyes widen when he spots Taeyong sitting on the couch. “Hi! Hello!” He shouts eagerly. “I’m Jaemin!” 

“Hi, hello Jaemin.” Taeyong mocks in a playful manner. “I’m Taeyong. The old man in the kitchen is Taeil.” He looks over his shoulder at a frowning Taeil. “The father of the family.” He turns back to Jaemin with a smile. “Yuta isn’t here, and we have to go.” Taeyong skips past the friends and out the door. 

Taeil enters the living room now, and wipes his hands on the front of his apron. “Honey, you can leave your bag on the ground. I’ll take it up to Jeno’s room.” Jaemin nods and follows the others out the door, turning back quickly to yank the door closed. He scoots into the backseat with Jeno, and they exchange smiles.

“Seatbelts.” Taeyong says in a song-song voice. “And we are off!” He rocks his head side-to-side very slightly, flashing Jeno a beaming smile in the rear-view mirror. Jeno and Jaemin exchange a knowing smile, and they all continue the ride in a comfortable silence. 

It takes less than 30 minutes to arrive at the airport, but Taeyong wastes no time racing out of the car and past the airport employee who tries to tell him he can’t park there. “Wow.” Jaemin laughs at Taeyong’s enthusiasm.

Soon after, Taeyong and Doyoung walk out the airport hand-in hand. Taeyong makes his way to the driver’s side apologizing loudly to the worker he ignored earlier, while Doyoung throws his luggage into the now-open trunk. As he scoots into the passenger’s seat, he and Taeyong take a second to examine each other’s smiling faces. 

Jeno forces a cough, catching the attention of everyone in the car. “I missed you too hyung, not that it matters.” He exaggerates an eye rolls. Taeyong giggles and begins to drive. 

“Jeno Lee.” Doyoung says sternly.

“Doyoung Kim.” Jeno challenges. The two peer at each other but Doyoung breaks first, smiling from ear-to-ear. He extends a hand out for the younger to take. Jeno accepts it, and Doyoung bites his knuckle. “Mother fu-.”

“Who’s this? Jaemin I assume?” Doyoung ignores Jeno’s pout and offers a hand to Jaemin. The younger hesitates, looking at him with wide eyes. “I won’t bite. I promise.” Jaemin’s pout turns into a smile, and he shakes Doyoung’s hand. 

Doyoung moves to face forward and shifts around slightly to settle comfortably. 

“There’s sandwiches for you in the lunchbox on the floor. Put your seatbelt on, please.” Taeyong says, vision focused on the road. Doyoung leans over the center console to place a kiss on Taeyong’s cheek before following the elder’s orders. 

Jaemin leans towards Jeno. The belt locks, so Jeno meets him halfway. “Not together?” Jaemin whispers.

“Not together.” Jeno whispers back.

Doyoung glances over his shoulder with one eyebrow raised. “What are you too whispering about?” The young boys erupt in a fit of giggles. “I see,” he nods his head. “You really do look like a model, Jaemin. I thought Jeno was exaggerating about how pretty you are, but here you are.” Doyoung leans back into his seat, catching the grin growing on Taeyong’s face from the corner of his eye. Jaemin shyly looks over at Jeno who’s suddenly very interested in the other cars on the road. A slight pink color replaces the pale complexion of his ears. 

.

Yuta lays his head on the steering wheel of his car. He’s been parked in the same spot for the last thirty minutes with his emergency lights on. Finally, he turns them off and turns the key to shut off the engine. “Okay. Okay.” He says to himself, sitting back and nodding his head. He grips the wheel tightly, breathing in and out. In and out. He jumps in his seat when he hears a knock on his window. Looking up frantically, he makes eye contact with a familiar-looking face. 

The man outside of the car begins to speak but his voice is muffled behind the glass. “Do you need something or should I call the cops?” Yuta’s eyes widen and he shakes his head. Opening the car door, he speaks quickly to defend himself. “No. I’m just looking for someone. Her name is Yuri. She lives-.” 

“She’s not here.” The man bites. When the man begins to walk away, Yuta catches a glimpse of his right ear. It is pointed slightly. Hm, like a fairy. Yuta thinks to himself.

“I saw you at the bar the other day.” The man stops in place. “Did I do something to you, or are you always this overjoyed to see a stranger?”

“Yuri’s my cousin. I went to the bar to look for her, but I saw the man who knocked her up instead. I got a call from the hospital later that night; she had the baby.” The man turns away and bites the inside of his lip. “The baby’s fine, if you care at all. He’s living with me. Yuri took off the morning after. Haven’t seen her since.”

“Can I see him?” Yuta asks so quietly, that the man repeats the question back. 

“Can you see him?” The man repeats and Yuta nods. “Over my dead body.” And just like that, the man walks away without letting Yuta respond. 

Yuta stands outside of his car, dumbfounded. The sound of a horn beeping pulls him out of his daze, and he sulks back into his car. When he attempts to turn the engine back on, he realizes the battery died. He punches his dashboard, once, and then twice as tears fall from his eyes. Finally, he takes a deep breath in and exhales, then calls the only person who he knows won’t pry.

.

Johnny arrives half an hour later, parking side by side with Yuta. Yuta’s shoulder slump as he moves towards the back of Johnny’s car where Johnny is pulling out jumper cables. “What brought you this far south?” He questions just to make conversation. Yuta’s red-rimmed eyes catch Johnny’s attention first and he nods, understanding that the younger isn’t in the mood for questions. Instead, he removes his coat and places it gently around Yuta’s shoulders. “You must have been freezing waiting in that car with no heat.” Yuta hums in response, following Johnny to the front of their cars to connect the cables. “I was about to grab lunch, how about he we go get something together. On me.” Johnny says as he finishes and steps out the car to detach the cables.

.

“I know we haven’t talked much since high school, but you can still tell me anything.” Johnny says softly when he realizes Yuta hasn’t touched his lunch.

Yuta looks lost in thought but finally looks up at Johnny with a sad smile on his face. “I know.” He sighs. “I drove out this far to meet with someone.” He says, finally picking up his fork to poke at the food in front of him. 

Johnny nods for him to continue, taking his burger into both hands and bringing it to his mouth. “Girlfriend? Boyfriend?” He questions before taking a bite. 

“This girl I met at the bar around 10 months ago.” Johnny begins to choke on his food, causing Yuta’s eyes to widen in fear. Johnny lifts his hand up to indicate he’s okay, grabbing for his drink to clear his throat. 

“10 months you say?” He asks with wide eyes and a forced smile on his face. Yuta hums in response. “Any reason in particular for visiting her?” 

“John.” Yuta rolls his eyes. “Please don’t tell anyone. You cannot even tell Taeil. I have to be able to talk to my brothers on my own terms.” The elder nods to indicate he understands. “I came to visit her to make sure she’s alright. She made it quite clear that she was not going to let me be involved, but what kind of person would that make me if I accepted that without a fight? I have been working twice as much to ensure I have the money to assist her, but when I came to look for her I ran into her cousin instead. He informed me that she’s gone.”

“With the kid?”

“No. My son is living with her cousin. I don’t even know his name. My son or her cousin. The cousin won’t let me see my son.” 

“I can help you with that. We will have to prove he’s your son first, then I can have my legal friends help you out.” Sensing Yuta’s hesitation, Johnny continues, “if you want, of course.”

“I cannot see myself being qualified enough to be a father. What if my son is better off without me interfering with his life?” 

Johnny’s hums, reaching a handout to Yuta. Yuta takes it hesitantly, focusing his attention past the elder’s shoulder. “I’ve known you long enough, and I know the incredible family which you come from, and let me just say this-.” Johnny shifts his head slightly to the side to force Yuta to look into his eyes. “You aren’t the cold-hearted person you allowed people to think that you are. Take your time to think about it, and if you want to be in your son’s life then let me help you make that happen.” Yuta nods then hangs his head. “I won’t tell Taeil, but you’re going to have to eventually. I don’t want to have to keep a secret from him.” 

Yuta looks up into Johnny’s eyes again. “You really do love him, don’t you?” He feels as if he doesn’t even need a response with the way Johnny’s face glows and his eyes light up at the question.

He receives one any way when Johnny releases his hand. “More than anything in the world.” 

.

Laughter erupts from the dining room, startling Johnny as he struggles to carry three plates of food. Taeil smiles lovingly at his boyfriend, following close behind with three more plates. “How aren’t you struggling?” Johnny questions, placing a plate in front of Jeno, Jaemin, and his own seat. 

Taeil shakes his head, placing the other plates in front of Doyoung, Taeyong, and his seat. “I was a waiter for five summers.” 

“Thanks for dinner hyung, and for letting me stay over.” Jaemin bows to Taeil as the elder takes his seat. 

“Wow! Are you Korean Jaemin?” Johnny asks from the kitchen before returning with two glasses of wine. Jaemin nods, and Taeil and Johnny share an impressed look. 

“I was born in Korea, but I moved to the states with my father when I was 12 because my parents divorced and my dad got a job opportunity in New York. Now he was transferred here. His job has him traveling back and forth between the states and Korea, so I’ve visited a lot.” Jaemin shares, and the rest of them listen intently. 

“How have you been liking the city?” Johnny questions. 

“I haven’t actually seen much of the city.” Jaemin pouts, but a smile returns to his face, “until today of course. I really enjoyed spending the day in downtown and at the Shed Aquarium.” 

“Oh, that’s where you all were?” Taeil directs his question towards Taeyong and Doyoung. 

Jeno interrupts to answer, “We were supposed to visit the Water Tower and get lunch, but Yongie loves to see _Doyoung’s face light up when he watches the fishes_.” He attempts to imitate his brother’s voice at the last part. Taeyong kicks his younger brother who sits across from him at the table. 

Jaemin attempts to offer a distraction from Taeyong’s embarrassment with a question, “Taeyong hyung, did you get that scar under your eye from the accident?”

The three brothers tense up at the reference to ‘the accident’, but Taeyong shakes his head and smiles. “Actually, I got this scar a year after.” 

“Oh! Let me tell him!” Doyoung shouts. “Taeyongie got that scar defending me from a bully in school. You were in 5th, _6th?_ ” Taeyong hums. “Yongie was in 6th grade and I was in 5th. This 8th grader thought I was trying to steal his 6th grade girlfriend. To defend myself I had to out myself. ‘I don’t even like girls!’ I screamed, and then he was even more upset and lifted me by my jacket collar.” Taeyong scoffs at the memory. “Then here comes my knight in shining armor. When Yongie pushed the guy, he stumbled and dropped me hard on the ground. Next thing I know, Yongie is on top of the boy who’s like twice his size, punching him over and over again. When he wasn’t in shock anymore, he flipped them over and sat on Taeyongie. I was more scared than I was when he was pumbling me and-.”

“Pumbling?” Jaemin interrupts. 

“Beating the shit out of.” Jeno explains.

“Language.” Taeil shoots a glare at Jeno, turning back to Doyoung.

“Yeah, when he was kicking my-.” Doyoung is now the one to receive Taeil’s death stare. “-my butt. But, luckily my math teacher pulled him off of Taeyong before he can get another punch.”

“And now I got this bad boy.” Taeyong finishes Doyoung’s story, pointing at the scar under his eye. “I got this.” He says, pointing at the back of his right hand, clasping his hand only slightly to demonstrate its inability to fully close. “And this.” He pulls hit shirt down to reveal the scar over his heart. “And a bad back from the accident.” 

Doyoung takes Taeyong’s hand in his, earning the attention from the others. A faint blush covers both of their ears before they continue to eat like nothing happened.

Taeil forces a cough to direct the attention of the table back to him. “On Tuesday, John invited me to a banquet thingy his work is hosting and he asked for me to bring the family.” Taeil looks over at Johnny with a smile, and receives a bigger one in return. “I think it would be nice for us all to go together. I can’t remember the last time we’ve went out as a family, and Jaemin and Doyoung you’re family so, yeah. We will leave here at 5 and be there pretty late?” He turns to Johnny for confirmation.

Johnny nods, “we rented the hall until 1 in the morning. My colleagues live for this stuff and we all have work off Tuesday ‘till January 2nd. It will be like a pre-New Year’s thing.” 

Taeyong stares with one eyebrow raised. “Tuesday? You mean the 10th anniversary?” 

Taeil nods nonchalantly. “Yeah, we will go to the cemetery in the morning like we do every year, and then we can do whatever until we are ready to leave for the banquet. It will be a nice distraction.”

“As opposed to dealing with it?” Taeyong bites.

“Taeyong.” Johnny warns. 

Taeyong whips his head towards Johnny. “Oh, I’m sorry.” He says sarcastically. “I forgot that you lived here.” He stands up abruptly and pushes his chair in harshly, causing the table to shake slightly before he leaves the room and proceeds up the stairs. 

“Well, I should probably go check on him.” Doyoung says, wiping his face with a napkin. He begins to grab at his and Taeyong’s plates, but Taeil tells him not to worry about them. “Okay, thank you for dinner hyung.” 

When he reaches Taeyong’s room, he sees the elder boy going through his own closet. “You know.” Taeyong begins to ask, not turning to acknowledge the younger boy, “it’s been almost 10 years but the four of us never sat down together to discuss what happened or how we felt. 10 years, Doyoung.”

Doyoung wiggles out of his jeans and takes a seat on the side of Taeyong’s queen sized bed, and waits for the boy to finish his search in the closet. When Taeyong finds what he was looking for, he strips his shirt off quickly and puts on a light blue Champion sweater. “So that’s where my hoodie has been! I looked for it for weeks before leaving for school.” He smiles widely at his best friend, who pushes him to settle comfortably on his back. 

Taeyong is quick to climb onto the bed, and then onto the younger. Laying on him, chest-to-chest. “Can we sleep like this, Doie?” Taeyong asks, his breath tickles Doyoung’s ear on the side of his neck where the elder has decided to tuck his face. He shifts slightly, when his position becomes uncomfortable for his back and Doyoung groans quietly in response.

“Okay, but you cannot keep moving.” Doyoung whispers shyly. 

Taeyong’s eyes open widely when he pays attention to the position he has put them in, before he rolls off of Doyoung. “Sorry.” He whispers, ears burning a crimson red. Doyoung whispers an _it’s okay_ before Taeyong turns to face away from him. He looks at the back of the elder’s head with a pout on his face, but Taeyong is quick to turn around to direct Doyoung’s arm around his waist. 

Doyoung giggles to himself before moving his hand away. Taeyong whines in response, but the younger is quick to reassure his best friend, “I’m just turning off the lights.” When he settles back into the bed, Taeyong quickly close the gap between them. “I can’t believe you dyed your hair that color again. You look good as always but this color has always been my favorite on you.” The younger whispers, pulling his best friend into his chest, impossibly close. Taeyong sighs contently into his friend’s chest, drifting to sleep quickly in the warmth of Doyoung’s embrace. “Let’s put up your tree tomorrow morning.” 

.

In the living room, Jeno and Jaemin seem to have the same idea. Finally dragging in all the needed boxes, the young boys get to work. Jaemin shakes his head and offers Jeno an exaggerated pout. “It’s the 17th. How do you not have your tree up yet?” He asks disappointment clear in his tone.

“Yuta’s never home. Taeil only cares for Chinese New Year. Taeyong-.” He pauses, the internal battle of his thoughts clear on his face. “-he’s back and forth on the whole Christmas thing. The lights make him happy when he’s in a good mood, which of course applies now that Doyoung is home. But, when he’s sad or frustrated, they just irritate him more. I don’t know why.” 

Jaemin hums. He smiles when he finds garland in the box he’s opened, quickly wrapping it around his neck like a scarf. “I feel pretty. Oh, so pretty.” Jaemin begins to sing, avoiding the ornaments spread out on the ground as he performs the waltz around the room. “I feel pretty, and witty and-.” 

“You are pretty.” Jeno interrupts, with a shy smile on his face. 

Jaemin pouts, removing the garland from around his neck to whack Jeno with it. “It’s a song, Jen. You’ve never seen West Side Story?” The elder shakes his head, causing the pout to grow on Jaemin’s face. “Well, then while I’m here we should watch it.” 

Jeno hums in agreement. “Whatever you want.” This time Jaemin’s the one to smile shyly. “We should probably put up the tree before we take out any more decorations.” Jeno pauses in thought, “actually, I have no clue how to put up a tree. Yongie and Doie usually put it up.” 

“We can probably figure it out, right? Maybe there’s instructions or something.” The two boys begin to take out various parts of the fake tree.

“You were just complaining that my tree wasn’t up yet, but you don’t know how to put up a fake tree?” Jeno teases.

“I’ve never put the tree up myself!” Jaemin pouts. “My dad usually hires someone to do it.”

“Well, I’m happy that I get to put up the tree for the first time with you. We are men now.” Jeno stands proudly before pounding his chest with his fist.

“Okay Tarzan. Help me with the tree.” Once finished with the box, the boys share an unsatisfied look. “Where are the other two-thirds of this tree?” Jeno doesn’t even respond, instead he bursts out into a fit of laughter. Jaemin is unable to hold back as he also begins to laugh. “I-.” He attempts to say but only laughs harder. “How did this happen?” He manages to ask before falling back onto the couch, holding onto his abdomen. “We need to find the rest of it.” 

Jeno takes a seat next to the younger, laughter subsiding slowly. “Wouldn’t it be funnier if we decorated it the way it is?” 

Jaemin begins to laugh again, so hard that no sound is emitted. Jeno leans over, falling onto Jaemin’s side and begins to laugh again. The smile on his face so wide that his eyes close into moon shapes. “Okay. Maybe the rest of this sad tree is in the other boxes.” 

***

#### Tuesday, December 20, 2020

“I’ll be back at your house by 4 pm. My mother wants to go out for lunch.” Doyoung pauses on the other end of the call. “You can come with. They wouldn’t mind.” 

“I know they wouldn’t, but I think they deserve to have some alone time with their son who has been away for 4 months.” Taeyong giggles into the phone. “You didn’t even go visit them right away when you came home. Spending the night out with your friends. What a bad son.” He teases the younger. “I should probably eat something now or I won’t be hungry for the banquet. We should match.” Taeyong pauses to hear Doyoung hum. “I’m wearing my black suit, white button down, and a black tie.” 

“Wow, a fashion icon.” The younger teases. “Alright, I’ll see what I have in my closet. I’ll text you when I’m on my way back. I hope all goes well with your family at the cemetery.” They exchange their goodbyes and _‘I love you’s’_ before hanging up. 

Taeyong finishes dressing in joggers and Doyoung’s hoodie before making his way down the stairs. He smiles when he sees Jeno and Jaemin cuddled on the couch, sleeping the same way they’ve done every night since Friday. “We will be leaving soon.” He says softly, shaking Jeno’s shoulder then continuing to the kitchen. “Looks like everyone has somebody but me.” He laughs to himself when he sees Taeil and Johnny eating breakfast together. “Where’s Yuta?”

“He said he’ll meet us at the cemetery.” Johnny answers, earning himself a puzzled glance from his boyfriend. Before Taeil can question him, Jeno and Jaemin make their way into the kitchen.

“We are ready to go! We will be in the car!” Jeno shouts, grabbing Jaemin’s hand to lead the way. 

“Well, I guess we should start heading out too.” Johnny suggest as he takes Taeil’s hand. Taeil looks down at their joined hands apprehensively before faking a smile.   
.  
“Are they just going to stare at the graves the whole time we are here?” Jaemin questions. He sits next to Johnny on a bench 20 feet from the brothers. 

“That’s what they did last year.” Johnny shrugs before moving around to adjust himself on the bench. “But I wasn’t sure if that was normal or not. I guess it is.”

Jaemin hums in acknowledgment. “So, how long have you and Taeil been dating?”

“2 years next week.” Johnny smiles to himself. “People thought we were dating in middle school, but we were just best friends.” 

“Like Taeyong and Doyoung hyung?”

Johnny laughs at that, nodding his head. “I guess you can say it’s a common occurrence. Taeil was my first kiss. We were in 7th grade and we snuck into a classroom during a school dance. I kissed him and we never spoke about it again. I assumed he didn’t like boys, but was too good of a friend and too nice of a person to tell me off.” 

“Then how’d you too end up together?”

Johnny raises an eyebrow and bites his bottom lip, deep in thought. “I guess I finally decided that at the age of 26 it was time to go get the one thing missing in my life. I figured I could be scared for the rest of my life and never rekindle things with Taeil, or I could put myself out there. I knew if he didn’t feel the same way he wouldn’t make me feel bad and our relationship would never turn awkward. So, I bought Twenty One Pilot tickets and asked him to accompany me because they were **_nonrefundable_**. And I knew stressing that would ensure he says yes, because he’s not one to waste money.”

Jaemin hums, looking away from Johnny and back at the siblings. “How come you aren’t engaged yet?”

Johnny laughs, looking at Jaemin like he’s impressed. “You are quite forward, you know?” Jaemin hums in acknowledgment and Johnny continues, “I’m waiting for everyone’s approval to do a legit proposal.” 

“I see. Taeyong seems like he isn’t your biggest fan.”

“That’s a nice way to put it.” Johnny sighs. “Jeno isn’t the biggest fan of me either. He would go to bat for Taeyong without hesitation; every time he feels he has to. I mean, I understand though. The four of them have been together their whole lives. They take care of each other. I wouldn’t be happy either if my father were to remarry, just as they don’t want to risk losing their father figure. Taeil looks after them.”

Jaemin giggles, “And who’s going to look after him?” He points towards the siblings with a smile on his face.

Johnny turns away from Jaemin with a questioning stare before realizing Taeil and Yuta are kicking at each other’s legs, while the younger two brothers cheer them on. “No kicking each other by your parents’ graves!” Johnny shouts as he runs towards the brothers. Jaemin watches fondly from the side, shaking his head at the scene in front of him. 

.

“How did we manage to get stuck in the kids’ side of this banquet?” Taeyong scoffs. “We are by far the oldest here.” 

“Johnny said the adult side was limited. Plus, it will be way more fun over here. Let’s gather the kids up like little gremlins and make them into a little army. Then we fight the adults at dawn.” Doyoung whispers, leaning towards Taeyong slightly. Jaemin and Jeno look at each other and then at the older boys with great concern. Doyoung grins mischievously at the boys before popping up from his seat suddenly. “I’m going to go flirt with that man and steal all of his bread.” 

Taeyong laughs at his friend’s enthusiasm, raising his glass of water as a cheers of good luck before Doyoung runs off in the direction of a server.

Doyoung runs back quickly with a tray of bread and a nervous smile on his face. “Someone tell bread man that I am way too young to get married.” Doyoung giggles, taking a piece of bread in one hand and a knife in the other. After preparing the bread with butter, he offers it to Taeyong. “For you, my love.”

Taeyong giggles, happily accepting the bread. “I knew I could trust you to always bring home the bread.” He leans towards the younger. 

“For you, I will always bring home the bread.” Doyoung meets Taeyong half way, placing a hand on the elder’s back as they continue to eat their snack.

Jaemin looks at Jeno with a frown. “Is bread a euphemism for something?” Jeno shrugs, a look of disgust permanent on his face.

“Best Friend” by Rex Orange County begins to play in the background, causing Doyoung and Jaemin to shout “I love this song!” in unison. 

“It’s a good song.” Jeno replies shyly, looking down at his shoes under the table. Doyoung looks over at Jaemin who smiles fondly at Jeno. 

Doyoung stands to fix his suit jacket, then extends a hand to Jaemin. “A dance, kind sir?” Jaemin glances at Jeno once more before accepting his offer. They navigate through the crowd of dancing teenagers and begin to hop to the beat of the chorus. 

“Is there something I’m doing wrong?” Jaemin shouts over the music.

“I mean, some songs are hard to dance to. As long as you look cute doing it, you’re doing something right.” Doyoung replies with a playful smile before taking Jaemin’s hand in his and spinning the younger boy around. 

“That’s not what I meant.” The music speeds up and so does the dancing crowd.

Doyoung smiles again before stopping in place. Jaemin stops as well, as the crowd slows their dancing to match the beat. “Ask him to dance. Then tell him how you feel. The Lees’ are great at reading people’s feelings unless the feelings involve themselves.” His eyes light up as “A Good Night” by John Legend begins to play. “Come on!” He shouts, pulling Jaemin back towards their table. 

Jaemin tugs at his jacket to make him stop. “Is he even?” He pauses, “does he like-?”

“I don’t know, Jaemin. I don’t even know if Jeno knows. Who cares? Just dance!” Doyoung shouts as he runs over to Taeyong and yanks him from his chair. Jeno and Jaemin watch as Taeyong gets dragged into the crowd.

“Let’s dance!” Jaemin shouts, faking enthusiasm before escaping to the middle of the dance floor by Doyoung who holds onto Taeyong’s hips and spins them around. He smiles as Jeno finally appears by his side. Jaemin takes his bottom lip between his teeth, shuts his eyes, and begins to jump to the beat. Jeno stands in place as he watches his best friend’s skin glisten in the shifting lighting of the room. “Come on.” Jaemin whines. “You’re not dancing.” 

Finally, Jeno decides to join the group and jumps up and down in place. Loud chanting from the other room catches their attention. Taeyong and Doyoung exchange mischievous smiles before grabbing a hold of the younger pair. “Hurry, let’s go check it out.” Taeyong shouts, holding onto Jeno’s arm tightly. 

“What if we get in trouble?” Jaemin shouts, but he continues to allow Doyoung to drag him into the hallway and into the adults only room. All guests in attendance stand in a circle around the dance floor, intrigued with the dancing figure in the middle. “Oh my god! Is that your brother?” 

As they push their way through the various tipsy guests, they spot Taeil in the center of the dance floor. He does the running man as “Party Rock Anthem” blasts throughout the room. The other party guests cheer him on shouting “Taeil time!” repeatedly. 

“Holy shit!” Taeyong laughs. 

“Oh gosh. I think it’s time to get everyone home before someone gets hurt.” Doyoung suggests.

Taeyong hums in agreement. “Where’s Johnny though.” 

“Over here!” Jaemin shouts, holding onto a very tipsy Johnny. The older man takes that as an opportunity to lean all his weight on the smaller, so Doyoung and Jeno rush to help keep him standing. 

Taeyong dances to the center, grabbing a hold of Taeil’s hands to pull him away. “Yongie! Where have you been? You’ve missed all the fun!” Taeil shouts, losing his balance and stumbling into Taeyong’s hold. 

“I can see! I’m glad you had fun buddy. Let’s go home now.” He says as he drags Taeil through the crowd and out into the hallway where the other boys wait. 

Doyoung gets into the back of Taeil’s van, dragging Johnny with him. Jeno sits Taeil in the middle, fastening his seatbelt against his wishes, then takes a seat next to his older brother. Jaemin decides to sit in the passenger seat next to Taeyong to distance himself from the overly hyper and drunk couple. Taeyong checks to make sure everyone is wearing their seatbelt before turning on the car. “Jeno, I think there’s water bottles by you. Please give one to Johnny and two to Taeil.” 

“Taeil hyung, I didn’t know you knew how to have fun!” Jaemin teases from the front seat. At that, Taeil unbuckles and attempts to stand from his seat. Doyoung pushes him back down, using his arm as a make shift seatbelt for the rowdy man. 

“That’s Northside College Prep’s 2010 class clown to you little pink man!” Johnny shouts from the back. 

“Scratch that. Give Johnny two waters and Taeil five.” Taeyong shouts, smiling at Doyoung through the rear-view mirror. 

.

As they pull into the Lees’ driveway, Taeil and Johnny are already half way out of their seats. “I am going to puke in this car if you do not park right now!” Johnny shouts. Taeil giggles and clings onto his boyfriend, putting a hand over his mouth. 

“Do not shout sweetie. You are going to give me a headache.”

Taeyong parks and quickly runs around the car to open Taeil’s door, pulling his brother out by his jacket collar. “Okay, drunks into the house first. Straight to the bathroom.” He slaps Taeil’s hand away when the elder tries caressing his cheek. “Don’t pout. Your face is going to get stuck like that.” 

Taeil giggles some more, hugging onto Taeyong tightly. “You sound just like mom and you look like her too.”

“Here, let me help him. You help with Johnny.” Doyoung says as he guides Taeil’s arm around his shoulders, offering a sympathetic smile to Taeyong. 

Half an hour later, Taeyong removes a batch of cookies from the oven, allowing them to cool as everyone settles in the living room, only turning on the Christmas lights because the room lights gave the eldest couple a headache. 

“I’m too old for this shit.” Taeil groans, clutching his forehead and leaning forward on the couch. “I drank 2 beers and embarrassed myself. I used to be able to handle so much more, and I didn’t feel like crap immediately after the alcohol wore off.” He complains.

Johnny is quick to disagree, “everyone loved you. My friends wouldn’t shut up about how great and fun you are. I’ve already got 5 different messages asking if you can come to the next company outing.” 

Jeno pouts form his seat on the floor next to Jaemin. “No more Taeil time?” His pout turns into a smirk, earning a loud laugh from Jaemin. The others join in on making fun of Taeil, but the laughter subsided when their attention is brought to footsteps sneaking down the stairs. 

“Yuta?” Taeil questions when Yuta’s figure comes into the light. “Where are you going?”

Yuta freezes like a deer in headlights when he realizes he’s been caught by the others. “I-.” He mumbles under his breath. He wears a cross body book bag, and clutches tightly to the strap that’s snug to his chest. “I have to go somewhere for the night. Don’t wait up for me.” He makes a few more steps for the door but stops when Taeil shouts at him to stop.

The room is quiet, everyone freezing at the sudden outburst by the eldest man. “John, can you?” Taeil makes a vague waving motion towards Jaemin. 

“Okay! Doyoung and Jaemin, I am enlisting your help to get the Slurpees. Let’s be on our way boys.” He shouts, walking towards the door quickly. “Lee boys, text one of us your orders or no Slurpees for you.” He offers a sympathetic smile to Yuta before exiting the front door.

Jaemin follows Johnny and Doyoung to the door, trying to keep up but struggling to put on his winter boots. He raises an eyebrow at Doyoung who seems very nonchalant about the confusing situation. “Isn’t it too cold for Slurpees?” Jaemin whispers.

“It’s never too cold for Slurpees.” Doyoung declares. “Plus, Taeil wants a moment with his brothers.” Doyoung whispers back. 

When the door finally shuts and the car pulls out of the driveway, Taeil continues, “And where the fuck have you been? None of us have seen you in the past month!” Yuta rolls his eyes and takes a step towards the door. “Don’t fucking walk away from me!”

Yuta turns back towards the elder, his eyebrows furrowed. “You’re not my fucking father, Taeil. You’re barely even older than me! I don’t have to listen to you bitch all day.”

“You will fucking sit down and listen to me or you can leave this house.” Taeil challenges.

“Oh really? Last time I checked, the house was left to all four of us. Want me to take you to court? That’s not a battle you will not win, hyung.”

“And why is that? Because big boy who uses big words has a big bad degree and is so much fucking smarter than everyone? I am sick and tired of you always looking down at the rest of us just because you got to use all of our inheritance to get your fucking Ph.D. And you’re not even going to pay it forward by helping your siblings. Taeyong is on a full ride scholarship, but what happens if Jeno wants to go to a private school or go away for school? There’s no more inheritance for him, but do you care? No, because you’re never here!” Tears well up in Taeil’s eyes. He leaves his seat and makes his way into the kitchen, gripping onto the kitchen island. 

“This is so like you!” Yuta shouts as he walks past his younger siblings and follows the elder into the kitchen. “You are so controlling! I feel like I’m being suffocated when I’m here. A part of me feels like you guys don’t even know I exist, and then bam here you come once again showing that I very much exist, and must be completely controlled by you like if I’m some puppet. I worked hard to get my bachelor’s and my Ph.D. so I can get out of here one day. So I don’t have to be suffocated by you!”

“You guys are so ungrateful!” Taeil screams as he picks up the batch of cookies and launches them on the floor. Taeyong pops up from his seat on the couch and enters the kitchen. “I’ve given up my life to take care of all of you!” 

Taeyong stands his ground, trying to out-shout his elder brother. “Yeah, because you’re the only one who had to give up things! I got accepted into Juilliard. I could have attended my dream school, but instead I stayed home to help you out!” 

Taeil’s eyes almost pop out of his head. “I didn’t even get to go to college because of you all!” He throws his hands up into the air. “Sometimes I wish I let grandma take custody of you.” Jeno gasps softly from the living room, tears falling onto his cheeks. Taeil bites his lip at the sound. “I just mean it would have been better for us all if you guys were raised by someone with experience.” He lowers his voice to almost a whisper. “I just-. I don’t know what I did wrong. I tried; I really did. Maybe we should all just call it a night, and cool off.” 

“We are already here and you don’t want to talk about it?” Taeyong scoffs, displeasure in his voice.

Taeil uses the back of his palm to wipe away the tears that have ran down his cheeks. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t deal with the two of you-.” He motions towards Yuta and Taeyong. “-always acting like psychiatrists when you speak to me.” His shoulders slump and he hangs his head as he passes his brothers and makes his way upstairs to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you have made it this far. The last chapter will be a bit longer than the first chapter, but probably not nearly as long as this second one. I aim at posting on Sunday (3/21). Again, I would greatly appreciate feedback. If you liked this story, please leave kudos. If you like to collect photo cards, my trading Instagram is @lyssa.trades - lets be mutuals :) Stay safe everyone!


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